Today is the day that my family dreads. The day my husband returns to his work overseas. The week before this day the anxiety has already begun. I find a dark cloud developing around my thoughts, tears usually fall before I have a chance to get a hold of myself and then the air is ripped from my lungs. I do not know how anyone makes it through this lifestyle without God, if I didn’t have the ability to pray and ask God for extra strength and peace – there is no way I could do this!
There was an article or blog going around recently that said something about DON’T say your spouse is your soul mate or they complete you – I didn’t read it at the time, but I couldn’t get the thought out of mind how incorrect that statement was. Since I follow Jesus, I believe what the Bible says about marriage:
3 The proud religious law-keepers came to Jesus. They tried to trap Him by saying, “Does the Law say a man can divorce his wife for any reason?” 4 He said to them, “Have you not read that He Who made them in the first place made them man and woman? 5 It says, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will live with his wife. The two will become one.’ 6 So they are no longer two but one.
Matthew 19:3-6a NLV
Jesus didn’t just give His thoughts on marriage, He repeated what God had said it was. So I think it’s fair to say when you marry, you qualify as one, which technically means you complete each other. Some people don’t realize that there is a difference between our spirit and our soul (Hebrews 4:12). The spirit is our eternal life (those that have made Jesus their Lord, this is the part of us that is ‘saved’), our soul is our heart/mind connection in this world – our emotions, thoughts, etc – which would deal with the feeling, ‘love’; hence my belief in soul mate being the one who shares our heart. The Expanded Bible translation says Matthew 19:6a this way:
‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be ·united with [joined to] his wife, and the two will become ·one body [as though they were one person; one flesh; Gen. 2:24].’
I’ve mentioned before how I have to smile and count to ten when someone jokes with me that they wish their husband would go away for a few months too. I’m sorry, but that’s not funny to me – and I pray that they never have to go through that experience, because chances are, they wouldn’t make it very long. I’m not better than anyone else, by no means, it’s just in the past 22 years that I’ve been an Army Wife/ Law Enforcement Officer Wife/ Contractor Wife – I’ve seen more couples who didn’t make it through these long months apart – than those who have stayed together.
When we are forced to say our goodbyes, our one heart is ripped in half. We’re not meant to be apart, we’re not meant to be without our spouse – remember, we are no longer two, we are one – subtraction and division are not natural in the family; it’s meant to be only addition and multiplication.
This is why I give all the glory to God that our marriage and our family has not only sustained these years apart, but we’ve grown stronger. At times I might not feel stronger, but in those difficult moments when the tears flow and I’m at my weakest – that’s when God shows me how strong He is.
9 but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough – always available – regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP