I struggle with accepting forgiveness for my mistakes, seems for every step closer to God I take a few steps backward in faith. This makes me FEEL condemnation BUT I know the Holy Spirit only convicts, and if we confess our sins with sincerity of heart – God forgives us. We walk by faith, NOT by feelings; so this condemnation is really the lies of the enemy.
Abraham walked with God, physically and spiritually, he got to see God’s miraculous works firsthand but yet Abraham continued to falter. He lied that Sarah was his sister because he was fearful, he had Ishmael by trying to bring about naturally what God promised supernaturally. Yet he still grew his faith enough that he was willing to sacrifice Issac, the ‘thing’ Abraham treasured the most, because God told him to. His eventual faith conquered the guilt and pain of his sins, it was 25 years from the time God told him he would be the father of many nations until the birth of Issac.
If Abraham, this man, we now call a hero of great faith – can stumble, even with seeing and talking with a visible God – then perhaps we’re not as pitiful as the enemy tries to make us feel when we waver occasionally. When God gives us a promise, even if it seems impossible, we can learn to trust God’s timing. Knowing, if we haven’t seen the fruition, it’s because we’re still growing that faith to where God needs us to be.