1 Peter 3:1
In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands (subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them), so that even if any do not obey the Word (of God), they may be won over not by discussion buy by the (godly) lives of their wives.
Submit, does not mean, you are to be a slave to your husband. No, submit means, you are to put your husband above your own wants and needs. Jesus said in Mark 10:45,” For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Jesus’ lived his life as an example of how we are to live our lives. HE didn’t come to show us impossible standards or achievements, HE came to show us what we are capable of doing. Jesus told us to “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” (Luke 6:31), if we used that one verse as an example of our interactions with our husbands (not to mention every person we ever met), what a difference it would make!
Mark 9:35, “He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, ‘Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.’” We are not called to elevate ourselves above any other, Christian or non-believer, we are to serve others. Jesus said in Matthew 23:11-12, “The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” We must serve others, starting with our spouse, if your spouse isn’t a believer, or has turned away from GOD, what better way to win them to the Lord. Serve them, not be a door mat, serve them with love, respect, and honor them.
In this day and age, putting ourselves first has been number one for so long, that putting anyone above ourselves is almost unheard of. My Bible has a great reference to servitude, “Growth in Service: Jesus said his primary purpose was that HE came to serve and to seek the and save the lost (Luke 19:10). He came to serve as an example of humility and self-sacrifice (John 13:14, 15); even now, He continues to serve as our intercessor, praying to the Father on our behalf (Romans 8:34). The primary call to the church is to secure and multiply Jesus’ model of servanthood by creating an atmosphere and ministry emphasis that produces servants (Eph 4:12). The ability and opportunity to serve are gifts from God; and true growth, when it is pure, will produce the fruit of service. (Matt 22:38, 39 and Psalm 34:2)”. One of the verses referenced above was John 13:14-15, when Jesus washed the disciples feet, was to show that no action was beneath a persons dignity to perform the most menial of tasks for others. Another reference shows that servanthood is a disposition of the heart and spirit, which expresses itself in concrete actions.
Actions speak louder than words, in this verse, it speaks of a Christian wife with a non –believer spouse, and that the wife’s behavior (not her words) would be the light that leads the husband to salvation. If a believer spouse wants to win their spouse to Christ, telling the non-believer what they need to do, but not doing those things themselves, is not going to win any souls for Christ. Anyone can talk the talk, it’s walking the talk, where peoples lives are changed.