Tired of the Attacks

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.  (Romans 8:26-28 MSG)


So after a month of different sicknesses, it seems the enemy has decided that he’s not done with me (technically as long as we’re alive, we’re going to be attacked).  I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis on my 30th birthday (almost 11 years ago).   If you don’t know what UC is, it’s an ugly chronic (it never goes away, as long as I have my colon, I will have this) disease that brings some friends along (arthritis is the worse part for me, others have that and more) that goes inactive (remission) and active (flare).  Supposedly my immune system isn’t as strong because of this disease and I actually assumed that I got the flu and whatever superbug that came after, because of my UC weakened immunity (as well as helping with a homeless ministry and a children’s ministry).  Then to top of this perpetual cycle of sickness, the antibiotics my Dr gave me for the superbug spurred my UC flare and brought me out of remission.


The Spirit of truth will come and guide you in all truth. He will not speak His own words to you; He will speak what He hears, revealing to you the things to come and bringing glory to Me. The Spirit has unlimited access to Me, to all that I possess and know, just as everything the Father has is Mine. That is the reason I am confident He will care for My own and reveal the path to you. (John 16:13-15 Voice)


Why am I oversharing all this?  Simply because I don’t know what else to do.  As anyone else with responsibilities, I’ve got quite a few that are being pushed to the back because of these illnesses.  My situation,  I homeschool our sons – that’s my first responsibility (and with my husband in Afghanistan – I’m the only legal driver in our home  3/4 of the year) and as you can imagine when I’m sick, it makes life rather difficult.  Now let’s add our rental house to the mix of responsibilities that fall to me.  Long story of the rental is – I thought I was being gracious and having mercy on our renters but instead they took advantage of us; besides being a major financial burden, it’s also turned into a huge physical burden – now recently my church did a huge blessing on our family by removing 8 trailer loads of junk that was left in the yard and home, supplying paint and carpet (yes, I cried and dropped to my knees and gave God the glory for that huge answer to prayers) because the rest of the work was completely something I could do!  Which meant the devil needed to step up with attacks against my family (Dad had a heart attack, Mom had her hip replaced, and of course my sicknesses).  I have yet been able to go paint and lay the carpet so we can list the house.  I know without a doubt that God is going to bless us abundantly when we do sell this house, so I’m positive that’s why the enemy is attacking us.  I currently stuck in our bedroom (because it’s closest to the bathroom) and unable to leave the house right now, when today is the day I was supposed to be finally ‘healthy’ enough to go paint!!!


He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. (John 14:17 NLT)


I’m so thankful that instead of having a pity party for myself, I picked up the best medicine, God’s Word – which is enough encouragement on it’s own.  I recalled a few instances recently where I felt tragedies would have been prevented if the people had recognized the Holy Spirit’s warnings, which caused me to remember a recent newsletter that mentioned teachings on the Holy Spirit.  So I watched teachings by Rick Renner on being led by the Holy Spirit and how to receive the supernatural help of the Holy Spirit.  I always enjoy his teachings because he uses the original Greek to help explain the Bible – as you know translators had to pick the word they felt best described when translating from the original Greek to English and sometimes a word just doesn’t carry the full weight of the meaning.  So in these teachings he spoke of recognizing the Holy Spirit and it reminded me of when the Holy Spirit tried to warn me about our house situation.


And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.  And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.  (Romans 8:26-27 NLT)


Even after we make Jesus the Lord of our life and have the Holy Spirit living in us, it doesn’t change our physical nature.  We are fleshly people, we want what we want, and unless we train our mind to be renewed by the Word of God (Romans 12:2), it will be difficult for us to recognize what is of the flesh and what is of the spirit.  Who wouldn’t want a new home, I mean our intentions were good, we would move to a new home where our sons would have a better school (the Holy Spirit saw that one – homeschool doesn’t matter what district or zone your home is in and 2 years after moving we started homeschooling).  The Holy Spirit knows the future, He knows what’s in store for us – He knows about taking the long painful road or He can guide us through a short cut that will save us some pain and get us to the destination God has planned for us.  I now realize that the Holy Spirit was trying to prevent my family from this painful, difficult, extra long way around path we’ve been on.  As so many people say, I really wish I knew back then, what I know now!  If I had understood that the Holy Spirit wasn’t trying to convict me of not going to the Lord in prayer (which is a sermon in itself!) about the decision to buy the house, no He was trying to tell us if we bought the house, we would have a very rough road ahead of us.  This doesn’t mean God can’t use this rough road to accomplish His plans, God can use anything the enemy and/or our own fleshly mistakes to fulfill His purpose.  But I’m just sick with myself when I think of ALL the heartache and pain we could have missed if we had known and recognized what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell us!!!


And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  (Romans 8:26 NLT)


I believe as loving parents we teach our children lessons so they will learn without being hurt, we tell them to stay away from the oven because we don’t want them to experience the pain of getting burned.  As good parents we would never want them to get burned so we can tell them, “See I told you it would hurt, you’ll know better next time”.  Our Heavenly Father loves us so much more than our earthly parents, He even sent us the Holy Spirit so that we could always be protected from those painful lessons – we just have to make sure we are listening and that we recognize (discernment) the Holy Spirit’s leading and what He is saying.   


Look, all of you are flawed in so many ways, yet in spite of all your faults, you know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to all who ask! (Luke 11:13 Voice)